Nowadays people focus on the necessity to fulfill themselves as well as on building their success as individuals. People are often "in a cage" finding themselves in a social and working routine. As a consequence they miss the few chances they have to meet new people and start new experiences and social relationships. Then, if you've also experienced loving failures behind you, characterized by disappointments and sorrow, here you see that perception and expectations on a new relationship can turn into fear and inhibition.
The network offers a chance to meet, it is in fact a virtual place that can often ease the way of relating in a first acquaintance. On the web you have the possibility to express yourself freely and, at first, not bound by the physical appaerance, which sometimes restricts and defines relationships. "Life in Two" is in fact an opportunity to listen and be listened to, prior to the real meeting with one another. The user has the opportunity to take the needed time to discover and uncover the relationship with the other, in a neutral and advanced environment, such as that of the virtual.
Registration to the site aims to establish a psychometric test, constructed to allow the program to find compatibility and affinity between the members' profiles. The test suggested by Life in two is the place to start on this adventure. It is a tool that allows you to focus on your current needs, what you're looking for in a relationship with the others and what are your expectations on it. It thus reveals a useful tool for self-knowledge, makes it possible for everyone to pause and reflect on their own perceptions and expectations that are placed in a possible meeting. I advise you to respond to the test in a sincere way, free from excessive expectations on yourself and on the desire to create an ideal image of you, which just corresponds to what you really are. In fact, the test, wants to help you to stop thinking about what you are and what you are looking for. In case you experience difficulties in answering a few questions, my advice is to let yourself be guided by your intuition, often in fact the opportunity to trust in yourself and in your own spontaneity will free you from the constraints of excessive rationalization, a source of stress and anxieties.
The test aims to provide names of other contacts, found on the basis of a compatibility and affinity index. This will then be the starting point, which will help to broaden the range of your meeting opportunities.
Within a relationship it is important to identify common values and interests that lead the couple to want to share and tell. Sharing the same helps the couple to create and design a project and set objectives, key elements in building a relationship that relies on a solid foundation, not giving rise to a report in disarray and without a design. It is thus essential that you have clear in mind what you believe are the important things for you, as this will help you to identify the important aspects that you'll look for in the other person.
The test allows you to know what kind of person you are, your areas of interest, projects and expectations you have built up to the encounter with the other. It is the starting point of a new encounter, a new experience that you decide how to proceed and how to shape it.

After receiving the names of the other contacts, the new venture starts taking shape! It proves to be an opportunity for a new experience, a possible new love. It is important to be able to dwell on what you expect and what drives you in this experience. Sometimes, in fact, there are many disappointments in previous relationships which bring with them suffering and little desire to get back into the game, little interior space to be allocated to the encounter with the other.
You need to be able to ask what are the aspects that have brought you this far, understand what you've left in the past experiences, and which aspects could you put back in the game or shut in those relationships, that are now lost. Understanding the past to turn the gaze to your present! What do you expect from this new relationship? It is important to define the essential aspect, namely that it is in a new field, in a new place and a new other that gives us the opportunity of meeting. Only this way we will be able to create a real opportunity to meet with one another, being able to put ourselves in a position of mutual listening, and giving ourselves the opportunity to appreciate a new relationship, remembering that "a journey of a thousand miles always begins with the first step".
The first meeting represents the first real opportunity to meet, after a possible initial period of virtual contacts. It is therefore an opportunity for both to see each other, not only see their physical appearance but also look and discover all those sensory elements which are not transmitted in distance. It is an opportunity to understand if it is possible "to find yourself ", to recognize what was in the virtual relationship, and that somehow hit us, leading us to request a royal appointment. It means therefore to understand whether there is a real affinity or not, decide whether to continue the relationship also in the external reality.
Often this first meeting is a source of anxieties and fears, coming from the fear of getting back in the game or fear of possible rejection from the other. The tension and shyness can also produce the fear of not being able to fully express yourself on this occasion. Helping to deal with this type of inhibition can be represented by thinking that the first appointment is intended to tell whether you have the desire to continue mutual understanding in a further meeting or not, the purpose of the meeting in fact is not to be judged or evaluated, but that of understanding together whether to give life to a more thorough relationship or not.
You need to be yourself and once you get to the appointment, get ready to listening to the other, creating this way that space not filled with expectations and desires, which makes us able to accept it as it really is, free from prejudices and fantasies!

"What are you attracted to? What are you looking for in the other person? " These are difficult questions to answer, we often live often unconsciously our relationships and situations around us, without stopping to reflect on what we are looking for and what are the expectations that affect the way we see the one next to us.
We also take for granted the sharing of projects and goals, thinking that what we live is also shared by the other. It would be useful, instead, to stop and talk to the other about our real thoughts, clarify the projects that guide our actions in this relationship, to find out whether all these shared and in common. Having a common perspective is in fact an essential element to start a relationship, an encounter.
Given that you have a shared project, what are the elements that make us realize that person is "made for me? " How much should we look alike? And how much should we differentiated? The balance between aspects of similarities and differences certainly appear to be a positive factor. In fact, sometimes the similarities are likely to flatten the relationship, making it sterile and lacking in respect and opportunities for mutual enrichment. Too many differences threaten to dismiss in the report, of not being able to even look at one another. A healthy relationship should in fact be based on a system of shared values, knowing however, to keep alive the different individuality, in mutual respect for their differences.
Its then up to us to understand how much of an aspect and of another we are able to accept in a couple relationship. A good starting point is given by the possibility of complement, and not to resemble in everything! It is in fact looking for similarities that make the relationship exciting, in which the dialogue and mutual exchange constitute an also individual growth path.
But, how to manage the choice? To choose means in fact, to say no to other possibilities or to other meetings. Choosing represents an opportunity for individual and personal growth but also a loss, it means to reject the multiplicity of choice, close some doors that were somehow still opened.
Choosing is a rational process, which matures over time and in the path of awareness that each individual develops in the relationship with their partner. Approaching the choice in Life in Two means to listen to yourself, being able to understand what are the feelings and emotions that you feel in the presence of that person, and only then you can rationalize by going towards a more informed choice, which is able to reflect your wishes and needs of the moment.

The need to have a person next to you, the need to create a stable relationship is inherent in the nature of man kind, he is in fact a relational animal, he is born in a relationship, the primary one, and he is always looking for the other, different from him, that may be able to recreate the intimacy and well-being experienced in that relationship.
It is also a common need dictated by the culture and social values, which is to find a partner with whom to share and shape your own lives, through which you give a meaning to your existence. When this need comes in an individual sense with awareness, the person starts looking for his soulmate, compatible to the fantasies created for him.
Looking for someone to be by your side, sets the foundations of the need to love and be loved, to give and receive care, treatment and listening. You need to build unity, wholeness with each other, to find the person that completes you.
A mature love relationship aspires to create that space of intimacy, understanding and listening, which is able to accommodate both personalities in the game to give life to a relationship of mutual exchange and sharing, in which it is pleasant and possible to grant a part of yourself to the other, to build a planning and a common dream, starting a life together.
The encounter with the other represents an opportunity for happiness, achievement and satisfaction of those basic needs that animate each one of us. The construction of a couple is not synonymous with "and they lived happily ever after", but it is the result of an everyday construction which feeds day after day love and the feeling good together, the bonding and the possibility of union in their differences.

Is there love at first sight? Will it be my prince charming? My princess? These are some questions that capture our minds waiting for the first meeting. Certainly physical attraction plays an important role, physical characteristics we look for in others and that we're attract to, in fact create that first step towards a possible and desired meeting.
But after a first pleasant impression what drives us towards each other?
A relationship that comes with the feeling that we finally found it, that it is on the right line, the right understanding and affinity, brings with it the start of fantasies about the ideal relationship, but also to the ideal partner, that set of expectations and fantasies built to go and train the other person for us, who embodies qualities, researched characteristics, with whom we need to fall in love. Inevitably in a first stage we pass from the encounter to the idealization. We, therefore attribute to the other person what we need. We create in ourselves another idea of a person who fulfills our fantasies, who has all the characteristics we've dreamed of, forgetting to make room for the realistic picture which lies ahead of us. We see our partner on the basis of what we expect to see in him.
This, however, is essential, it is in fact a physiological stage of idealization, which allows us to fall in love. The phase of falling in love is characterized precisely by the exaltation of the positive features of the other, from the aspects of light that dazzle, that hide from our eyes the shadow parts created by them. The capacity to love passes on this opportunity to transform reality in the ideal for us, and only then by the latter to go back.
What drives this process is the answer to the question "What do I need to satisfy in a love relationship? " Love is in fact a continuous active creation, a distortion of reality that involves us in the construction of our fairy tale. We adapt the reality in what we are looking for and hope to find. We build an ideal relationship, which is special, unique, and not comparable to other past experiences.
The Idealization of the other sets the bases of the child idealization experienced towards the parents, but in contrast to this, it's a necessary step that, if only experienced, allows to lay the foundation of trusting the others, for self-realization and internalization of the other, the idealization in love is something that induces a harsh awakening soon.
In a mature relationship in fact fantasies collapse, the patina wears off and the shadow of the other aspects, we were trying to deny or not to see, emerge creating disenchantment and disillusionment.
But love is to see your shadow aspect , to know and be able to name, address and learn to accept as their own, not to stay cooped up in the idea and the illusion of love relationship that dream, but switch to live it and share it.

The desire to build a lasting relationship, satisfactory, in which to pour parts of ourselves and of our energy, but that is both vital, passionate and nutritious, stems from an instinct of our own species, a need inherent in each of which is based on relational nature of man.
We need to find and to work alongside a person to be entrusted with parts of ourselves, to share our lives and with which to build future projects.It is an inherent need in a social mandate that leads us, more or less consciously, to build our lives and following scans predefined steps and settled according to the tempo and rhythm of their culture.
So here we head towards a constant search of happiness, which is located in the affair dreamed and desired. We are looking for those emotions as described by novels and movies, the ones that can change our lives, to make a change in their daily lives.
The search of that relationship can not be separated from the person seeking the "ideal" to build it. In the choice of partners play important roles different factors, such as the definition of what our needs are to be met, our fantasies and expectations linked to the image of self and for which we strive.
To build a relationship however, it is necessary to meet the other real, not just the image that is built in that other ideal that lies in our imagination. Understanding both the light and see the shadow of the other is necessary if you want to create an authentic relationship, real and acceptable.
Once you find and observe the shadows of the other, you are ready to really meet him, bringing into play themselves in a relationship of exchange and gift of self to another. What drives a healthy and mature relationship is in fact the desire and the need to put together the life plans of each and create something unique and common.
The difficulty, however, lies in the possibility to see each other everyday and not lose sight of. The need to re- find each day is an essential element in a lasting relationship where we can take care of the report and at the same time for themselves, that gifts happiness and serenity, through the attainment of that degree of stability and security that you need.
It is therefore move from the desire to change their life, distorting it , with the help of a possible meeting and extraordinary, the desire to return to their daily lives, but giving new senses and meanings, introducing a new planning and shared with your partner.

In a loving relationship often visits an element that threatens to undermine the very existence of that relationship: jealousy. It is the feeling which is associated more easily a bond of love , in which the relationship is transformed from sharing experience idyllic and exclusive , the demand for a closer link and ingabbiante, in which the bond is transformed into an attempt to bind and feel connected.
What is behind the feeling of jealousy is the desire to possess the other, the need to have at their disposal at all times, and know your not be shared with others. A healthy level of jealousy is something physiological in a relationship, in fact it enhances the sense of uniqueness and exclusivity of that relationship, but sometimes this feeling takes over, proving to be so obsessive and paranoid fear of loss. It, when it is so blinding, actually conceals a deep sense of personal inadequacy, low self-esteem and a feeling of insecurity inside.
The partner in this context is the object with which you want to merge, to which you want to strive to cope with the fear of emptiness that his loss will result. It then establishes a dependence, which cancels their own sense of individuality and identity, in order to recognize unique to that link, the only one who seems to give nourishment and support to its present.
Cancellation brings consequently the attempt to cancel each other because it is always different from what you would like. In this way is to build a circuit of suffering, driven by the constant fear of being rejected, betrayed and cast aside. They try to silence the sense of individual border, since it would be just an obstacle to that sense of fusion, which is useful to the need to feel united and indivisible.
This produces an unhealthy relationship, in which you lose the sense of being together, you lose the individual and shared projects, building a bond only an end in itself, which becomes the modus vivendi to subtract and exhaust, rather than to donate and nourish. It becomes a continuous research to survival, without the possibility of allowing himself the freedom to live that relationship to themselves and to each other to be there all the way.
Only in the maintenance and the perception of personal boundaries of self and those of another can take place healthy relationship, where there is the opportunity to know each other and recognize each other as such, without claiming to own it, but building a relationship made o sharing and differences, which communicated may contribute to the growth of both the couple and same.

When a love relationship ends, it leaves both partners with is a feeling of disappointment, suffering and uncertainty that accompanies every mood. In particular, the more you had invested in that relationship, the more you're stuck with feelings and negative emotions, which seem to equal the experience, decreasing your ability to think again of the whole relationship together.
On the other hand, you might sometimes have a strong idealization for what seemed to be perfect, idyllic, which crystallizes in your memories as a fairy tale made out of understanding, respect and mutual interest, leaving only regrets and questions.
The two phases alternate taking you to idealize and devalue the whole relationship, with ups and downs. The conflicting emotions blury what it really was, not allowing you to understand that end and that path.
As if there were only fragments, difficult to sew in a complex and tangled plot as that of a love relationship . You get stuck in that end, unable to understand and accept it.
On the other hand, understanding the end of a relationship allows you to explore what dreams have been broken, and what needs were not met, which parts of yourself were involved in that relationship, and which ones have remained unspoken, towards a deeper understanding of what are the factors that should be looking for into a new love relationship. Understanding the past to live in the present.
Here comes that history and that relationship is transformed into an opportunity to know yourself into a deeper level, since everyone can get in touch with their most intimate parts, listening to their own desires and their own fantasies, which may then lead to an authentic search for the ideal person with whom you want to share your daily life.