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Dr. Eleanor Johnson
Psychologist, specialized in group analysis psychotherapy. Manages and performs Counselling and Consulting at public and private institutions.
She also offers advisory services, diagnosis and psychotherapy to individuals, couples and families.

Give the floor to the experts

Give or give yourself?
Dear psychologist, are
Franco, I am writing to tell you my story with my ex, a woman who turned out to be quite involved and instrumental in my regard. After years of outputs in which I made the knight making her feel like a princess, I lost my job. I therefore found myself having to resize gifts and surprises. This change did not like it, began to complain and blame me for not giving her enough attention. This situation led us to the final break. I wonder if I've ever really loved. In reality, this situation is not new for me, I find myself always to fill gifts women, spoil them, and the first difficulty they run from me!
I answered
Dear Franco,
I wonder why you feel the need of having to cover gifts of these women. How important is it for you to donate something material and tangible another and for what reason? The need to do so many gifts often hides in fact a low self-esteem is often a search for something that compensation and filled those gaps that we feel our own. It looks like you tend to structure the relationship with the other, starting already from loss position, a position that you cages in an attempt to give and donate something outside of you, something you have to look outside for fear of can not suffice for the other as you really are! From what you've told me, with your ex-girlfriend seems to me that you had actually shown only after a long time, but in a relationship that had started from different assumptions, from a non-stable, but fragile and insecure, which certainly does not helped both to synchronize the authenticity of their needs and expectations and the other.

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