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Dr. Eleanor Johnson
Psychologist, specialized in group analysis psychotherapy. Manages and performs Counselling and Consulting at public and private institutions.
She also offers advisory services, diagnosis and psychotherapy to individuals, couples and families.
She also offers advisory services, diagnosis and psychotherapy to individuals, couples and families.
Without solution
Dear psychologist,
my name is Sonia, I'm 43 years old and have been single for a long time.
My last major story in fact was 4 years ago, since then I have not had the ability to build a relationship lasting relationship with a man.
To be more precise I'll tell you how it ended with my last partner and boyfriend. After a history of 3 years and living together for almost a year we decided to get married. Unfortunately, my "husband failed " was not quite ready to take a serious commitment or probably was not ready for me because after about two months after the break is engaged to his current wife. So in the midst of preparations for the wedding I was left, apologies were many: the lack of security in our future, the desire for freedom and the fear of getting caught in something definitive.
I told her everything to explain my current absolute distrust of the male gender and my inability to believe in relations that followed the breakup with my ex. When it seems that things can be "series " a little voice inside me pushes me to run away, to vanish without answering more phone calls or invent a thousand excuses to throw in the towel up to even the most stubborn of men.
in fact I would like to meet a kind man, self-confident, I know trample and who wants to build something lasting with me, but what is more important is that I want to start again I'll have to believe in the person next door, without trying the fastest way to escape for fear that the entrances before him.
thank you in advance for your time.
Sonia
my name is Sonia, I'm 43 years old and have been single for a long time.
My last major story in fact was 4 years ago, since then I have not had the ability to build a relationship lasting relationship with a man.
To be more precise I'll tell you how it ended with my last partner and boyfriend. After a history of 3 years and living together for almost a year we decided to get married. Unfortunately, my "husband failed " was not quite ready to take a serious commitment or probably was not ready for me because after about two months after the break is engaged to his current wife. So in the midst of preparations for the wedding I was left, apologies were many: the lack of security in our future, the desire for freedom and the fear of getting caught in something definitive.
I told her everything to explain my current absolute distrust of the male gender and my inability to believe in relations that followed the breakup with my ex. When it seems that things can be "series " a little voice inside me pushes me to run away, to vanish without answering more phone calls or invent a thousand excuses to throw in the towel up to even the most stubborn of men.
in fact I would like to meet a kind man, self-confident, I know trample and who wants to build something lasting with me, but what is more important is that I want to start again I'll have to believe in the person next door, without trying the fastest way to escape for fear that the entrances before him.
thank you in advance for your time.
Sonia
I answered
Dear Sonia,
your question is about the fear of trusting the other, undoubtedly resulted from the experience that you told. How to start and afford the freedom to return to hope to be happy with someone? Someone who this time did not hurt us, but that is able to give us what we need, with which to build that "long-term relationship " searched?
It seems to me that yours is a request that you make more yourself, a part of you wants it to start to savor every joy of a new encounter, while another part remains more hidden, ready to flee, perhaps the injured in the past. Now you wonder how to bring out the first, as her voice, while putting to rest the "voice " intimate you to escape!
Sonia, remember that relationships do not repeat the same as their own, in a circuit monotonous words and gestures repeated over time, but are made up of people, of dynamics that we can always make new, different. Your experience has been a source of disappointment and suffering, but it is important for you to realize that it was that relationship to end like this. What happened with that person and you know you in that relationship. Probably remained in you the feeling of being rejected, hurt, then moved away to be replaced, this time for issues to relive that experience, coming to refuse even a possible new meeting. How do you in fact to actually meet someone and trincerarti being so entrenched in our fears? You're giving up new experiences, refusing to be the same spring of your change, denying you the opportunity to really build a different relationship.
your question is about the fear of trusting the other, undoubtedly resulted from the experience that you told. How to start and afford the freedom to return to hope to be happy with someone? Someone who this time did not hurt us, but that is able to give us what we need, with which to build that "long-term relationship " searched?
It seems to me that yours is a request that you make more yourself, a part of you wants it to start to savor every joy of a new encounter, while another part remains more hidden, ready to flee, perhaps the injured in the past. Now you wonder how to bring out the first, as her voice, while putting to rest the "voice " intimate you to escape!
Sonia, remember that relationships do not repeat the same as their own, in a circuit monotonous words and gestures repeated over time, but are made up of people, of dynamics that we can always make new, different. Your experience has been a source of disappointment and suffering, but it is important for you to realize that it was that relationship to end like this. What happened with that person and you know you in that relationship. Probably remained in you the feeling of being rejected, hurt, then moved away to be replaced, this time for issues to relive that experience, coming to refuse even a possible new meeting. How do you in fact to actually meet someone and trincerarti being so entrenched in our fears? You're giving up new experiences, refusing to be the same spring of your change, denying you the opportunity to really build a different relationship.
